Friday, June 28, 2013

What Happened.

I've been resisting blogging about what happened.  I guess the reason why is because once I say it out loud and write it down, its real.  I still don't believe it, metaphorically and literately.  We went to the appointment, and we were there with 10 minutes to spare (a huge accomplishment for me!)  I told the receptionist that Kellen had a 1:00 appointment and she looked at me confused.  I was afraid of getting the appointment date/time wrong since I had scheduled the appointment back in NOVEMBER!!!  So, I called 2 weeks prior to confirm the appointment, and I know I had the date/time correct.  She told me that they had called me the day before to confirm, but since I didn't call them back they canceled my appointment!  I was furious! 1. I never got a call from them, and 2. Why in the world would you cancel just because I didn't confirm!!!!  That's never happened to me before!  I think it was horrible that at a drop of a hat, my appointment was cancelled.  REMEMBER I MADE THIS APPOINTMENT BACK IN NOVEMBER!!!  They are so booked solid that it takes months to get in there!  So irritated!  I told her that I took the day off of work and I expected to be seen.  She talked to the dr and he agreed to see us, but not until he finished his NEWLY RESCHEDULED appointment!  GRRRR!  So, Kellen and I waited for about an hour.  Its now 2:00 and in 1 more hour, it will be Kellen's nap time.  Oh Lord help me!!  We head back for the appointment and Kellen was in a great mood!  He was so happy to see so many new and differnt toys, so he started playing and laughing and making car sounds while he played with the cars, dinosaur noises when he played with the dinosaurs, he was having a ball!  As Kellen played, the dr asked me several questions, including Kellen's habits, family history, changes in Kellen's life, etc.  I was shocked to learn what he thought were issues.  At this point I will condense the hour long session.  Kellen's performance was frowned upon because:
1. He knows his ABC's
2. He knows the sounds of each letter
3. He can identify each letter
4. He knows all the colors
5. He knows his shapes
6. He can put a puzzle together
7. He was very social with the dr (allowing him to hold Kellen)
7. He wasnt interested in reading more than 3 pages with me (he was more interested in the toys)
8. He has only a few words in his voabulary
9. He stopped saying some words
10. He flipped out when the dr stopped playing with Kellen and conducted a physical exam

At the end of the session the dr got very serious, so I asked if he was able to diagnose Kellen, or if he needed to conduct more tests, or needed to review his notes (every time Kellen did the above the dr would scribble note on his pad).  The dr told me that he was sad to have to give me the news that Kellen is Autistic.  He labeled him as Moderate/High Functioning Autistic.  My jaw dropped.  I didn't know what to say.  The dr started giving me all sorts of paper work, and telling me to take Kellen to the lab to have blood drawn to find out if his Autism was genetic (I didn't take him.  I couldn't imagine putting him through needles after all of this!  They must be completely out of their minds if they think that I would subject him to that too!!!!), I signed some stuff and that's all I remember.  I just needed to get out of there.  By now its close to 3:30 and past Kellen's nap time.  He completely flipped out when I took him away from those new toys and then for what felt like a life time I had to sit with the check out nurse while she did paper work.  I was about to lose my mind.  It was awful.  Kellen was screaming and crying and just wanted to leave that awful place!  All I wanted to do was run out of that place and forget that we were even there.  As soon as we got in the car, Kellen calmed down and passed out, and I called his pediatrician and told him that he was GOING to refer Kellen for a second opinion.  I cried most of that night, Evan and I were devastated.  At this point, I am going to get a second opinion, but I am going to use all the help I can get since he's been diagnosed to help him with his speech.  In all honesty, that is my only concern.  I am worried about Kellen's lack of speech.  As for him having Moderate/High Functioning Autism, I do not agree with that diagnosis at all.  I've talked to several other professionals who know Kellen and not a single one of them agree with the diagnosis.  I am sad and still devastated.  But, I will be strong for my boy and I will do every single thing with every ounce of me to make sure that he gets the best possible treatment.  We are about to start on a new journey and I am confident that we will figure all of this out and Kellen will not, WILL NOT be haunted by a label.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

FINALLY Kellen's Upcoming Appt and 11 months

I've mentioned Kellen's speech issues before, and was referred to see a specialist...and have an autism evaluation.  His pediatrician saw something that scared him, and I've seen it before too.  I guess its the years of working in the developmental day program that helped me connect some of the dots.  After waiting 6 months for a freaking appointment, the day is FINALLY here! Kellen's autism evaluation day is here! His appt is at 1:00 and I took the day off for it. I am SO nervous and scared! I don't know what to expect. I don't know if I will be in the room with him. I don't know if he will be scared if I am not. I am just a nervous wreck. I am glad that he is getting evaluated though. He isn't saying many words at all and that really scares me. I just hope that he has a speech delay, not autism. My poor baby. I know its hard for him. He gets so frustrated when we can't figure out what his gestures mean and why he cries or screams. We need answers. We need to help my baby boy.
 On the other hand, Gray turned 11 months old yesterday!  1 more month until this crazy boy is ONE YEAR OLD!!!  I can't believe it.  So, this is what my little monster is up to...
*pulling up on everything
*crawls super fast everywhere
*separation anxiety
*loves to play outside
*sleeps like a dream!!  12 hours at night, and a 2 hour nap during the day!  LOVE!!
*big fat feet!
*size 4 diapers
*12 month clothing 
*love playing with this little flute, you carry it everywhere!
*you drink about 6 bottles, and eat lunch and dinner.  You love dinner, and you eat a lot, but you still want your milkie too!
*you absolutely LOVE it when we sing Patty cake, you love it!  You try to sing it with me, you are so cute!  You say, "daddy cake, daddy cake, daddy cake" and clap your hands, I swear its the best!  Daddy loves it too! ;)
*you like to clap your hands
*you scream when your brother screams
*you love it when Kellen plays with you, not so much when he is rough with you.  But you are starting to stick up for yourself and push him away or hit him when he gets rough.
*you love to play ball.  You toss it up and watch it bounce.
*your growing TOO fast!  But I love you more and more every single day.