Monday, September 10, 2012

Seperation Anxiety

It's been really hard.  I miss my babies.  Most people who don't have children don't understand how hard it is to leave them.  My babies were literally a part of my body.  I carried them for 9 months and then had a short 6 weeks maternity leave, now I am being separated from them to return to work.  6 weeks is not nearly enough time.  I am still healing, still bonding, still working into getting used to this new routine and now all of a sudden I am expected to leave a part of me at home.  I feel separation anxiety.  I don't want to do this.  I am sad today.  I will be sad until 4:00, because the moment I get home and see my babies I will be happy again.  Don't tell me that its a phase because even after I had Kellen, months later I still missed him terribly, every day, until I got home and was with him.  I don't know how some working moms do it.  I don't know how they can be excited to return to work after maternity leave!  I started dreading it weeks before I had to go back!  I've thought about furthering my education and returning to get my Master's degree, but I think it would be a waste of time and money.  I don't want to be a career woman, I want to be a full time mommy.  That's it!  That's what I want to be when I grow up.  That is what I am REALLY good at.

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